What I hate most in the world

You know that feeling of happiness you have when you’re at the beach? Where you’re sitting on the sand, enjoying the sun and the sound of the waves? You have a nice cold drink in hand, and your bestie is taking really nice pictures of you. That is how my life is most of the time.


I feel like I’m on top of the world, just living life with so much love and happiness. But then out of no where it all comes crashing down and I go into this sudden depression that I hate.


Let’s go back to the beach, you’re sitting near the water taking bomb ass pictures, and then a big wave comes, and it just drags you down with it. You try to get up and out of it but then another wave comes. You’re trying to get up and walk away but the waves keep getting stronger and you start to panic, and instead of helping you your friend just yells “just get up it’s not that bad”.


That is how my depression feels sometimes. I’m loving life one moment and then BAM a big wave comes over me and starts to drag me down into depression and anxiety. I try to crawl out of it every day, but the waves seem to get stronger and no matter how much I hear “you’ll be fine” “just keep moving” “you’ll get out of there” I feel like I won’t.


Then I have people telling me “you have everything, why are you even depresses?” I usually end up even more depressed after hearing that because I think that they are right. That I’m being selfish for feeling this way when I have everything I need. Then I think of the beach waves and remember it’s not my choice and I do try to get out but sometimes the waves are bigger than me.


I hate this feeling.


But I know, “I’ll get out of this…”